How Hard Is Life After Divorce?

How Hard Is Life After Divorce?

When a spouse experiences serious physical or emotional abuse, life after divorce may seem like a breeze even if it turns his/her home finances and daily routine upside down. However, for spouses who were in a normal marriage, life after divorce can be tough because they now have to cope with the following disruptions:

  1. Starting a new life
  2. Emotionally disturbed children
  3. Severed ties
  4. Loneliness at home
  5. Feeling of rejection
  6. Uncertainty
  7. Embracing a new identity

1. Starting A New Life

Divorce has a dramatic impact on your life. Even though you may have been planning a divorce for a long time, you may find the new reality (no spouse, a half-empty home, lower income to meet the daily expenses, no more together time, the new normal, etc.) somewhat upsetting, and chances are that you will take some time to get used to it.

Most spouses get dragged out of their comfort zone after divorce and are forced to accept the emotional, lifestyle, and financial changes, no matter how harsh they may be. There’s no other option but to accept them and move on.

Experienced divorce attorneys are networked with reliable and trusted counselors who can help such spouses rebuild their future. Take their help if you find the going tough.

2. Emotionally Disturbed Children

Adults can handle shocks over the long run – and even if they cannot, they may have already lived over 50% of their life until divorce landed. It is the children who the divorced parents have to worry about. After divorce, both parents may be too hassled coping with the new life, and their child-upbringing skills may be put to the test.

A parent may badmouth the other parent to the children or not pay adequate attention to them – and this could lead to a negative fallout. Psychologists have discovered that a divorce can impact some children so badly that they can perform poorly in academics, lose interest in social activities, become overly sensitive, feel angry or guilty or both, lose faith in the institution of marriage, and develop poor eating habits, leading to ill health. These are some effects that a divorce may leave on children – if, on top of this, parents further infuse negativity into the children’s minds or neglect them because their post-divorce life is tougher, then the children are likely to get even more emotionally disturbed.

3. Severed Ties

Friends and families are loyal and they take sides. Those whom you have considered friends may start avoiding you or keep you at arm’s length despite your friendly overtures. You also may lose contact or experience coldness from the other spouse’s family.

The growing distance between friends and the other spouse’s family may hurt and deeply disturb you, especially at a time when you are starting all over again and need emotional support to fall back on.

4. Loneliness At Home

Home does not feel the same again after a divorce. It’s not business as usual, there is a lack of togetherness, the purposefulness is missing, the nostalgia is overpowering, and the silence can be deafening. So, yeah, living a lonely life at home that was once buzzing with family life can get overwhelming and it can lead to depression, especially for spouses who are unable to get over the divorce.

5. Feeling Of Rejection

While married, you may have felt indispensable, and rightly so. After divorce, you may feel totally rejected and isolated – to top that, you may find you have been replaced by someone else. This sudden and rapid journey from indispensable to rejected/replaced can take a toll on your emotional health.

You may tell yourself that it’s time to move on, but our research suggests that spouses take a long time to get over their broken marriage. If you haven’t gotten over your marriage, you should consider consulting a therapist.

6. Uncertainty

After divorce, spouses are faced with a whole lot of uncertainty. How and when will they find a new partner? How will the children cope? Has the divorce spoiled the children’s future? How will retirement pan out? How fast can they let go of the link that connects you with your marriage? When will the grieving stop?

The uncertainty surrounding the future can be unsettling. Taking control of your happiness depends on how determined you are to move on to a happier future.

7. Embracing A New Identity

Psychologists believe that spouses derive an identity during marriage because of their marital status and their sense of responsibility towards the other spouse and the children. Divorce tears into this carefully developed identity and forces spouses to look at themselves differently after divorce, and try and change the identity that they had enveloped themselves with during the marriage.

The transitory period from “broken identity” to “new identity” can be bridged by participating in communal orientation activities.

Every person is made differently and the degree of stress, dissatisfaction, uncertainty, and unhappiness that one can absorb depends on his/her mental makeup.  Ultimately, divorce is a life-changing event and it’s a no-brainer that it may make life tough in the short to medium term (unless it comes as a major relief). However, spouses need to get over it and move on to a happier future.

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I cannot say enough good about my experience with Brown Family Law. Ray Hingson and paralegal Carren did an excellent job with my case. I will definitely use this firm again for any legal issues.
I have worked with Andrew Christensen many times in a variety of situations. I am very impressed with his friendly demeanor in a difficult situation. I would highly recommend him to you without any reservations.
Highly recommend Brown Family Law. Life is hard, divorce is harder, and Andrew Christensen is your guy to help you through to the other side.
When you’re going through a tough time and need legal help, this firm isn’t just a one-person operation. It’s a team of attorneys who work together to support you every step of the way. So you’re not just getting a lawyer, you’re getting a legal team behind you.

Navigating the legal system was a steep learning curve for me, and my situation was fairly complex. What stood out about this law firm was the way multiple attorneys collaborated to address my case. It wasn’t just one person working in isolation, but a team supporting each other to find the best path forward. That kind of collective effort is a real strength, especially in hard out complex situations like mine.

There was one issue I felt should have had a different outcome with the court. When I brought it up, the team responded in a very professional and respectful manner, which I truly appreciated. It came to my understanding that the legal system sometimes works in a way that is distant than I thought. This was presented to me in a way that someone outside of the legal system could understand.

In my experience, this firm takes the time to not only assist you, but also help you understand why things are happening. That made a big difference for me, and it’s something that really sets them apart.
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My experience with Jennifer and Brown Family Law was nothing short of amazing. From the very beginning of my initial consultation all the through until my case was settled, I was well taken care of and updated every step of the way. I felt like my team genuinely cared about the outcome of my case, which was refreshing. You get what you pay for, and Brown Family was worth every penny. To say I highly recommend this group is an understatement.
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Andrew Christensen was a great divorce lawyer. He is very experienced, professional, and was great to work with during this difficult process.
Response from the owner:Casey, thank you and so glad Andrew served you well.
Made my divorce quick and painless. 5 months ago I was feeling very overwhelmed. There was legal issues with protective orders, my ex wife had taken my kids to another country without my consent, I was in way over my head. After speaking with brown law they calmed my nerves took over my case. A few video calls and 5 months later my divorce is finalized with a fair outcome for everyone. It was easy and stress fee, it didn’t even feel like I was going through a divorce.
Response from the owner:Thank you so much, Brian. Sorry you went through all of that, but glad we were able to help.
Jennifer was excellent! She was always responsive and kept me updated on my case. while the billing was a little different from what I expected, her expertise was invaluable. I highly recommend her. And I appreciate everything she's done for me and may case.
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Going through the divorce process can be overwhelming, exhausting and emotionally draining.
I did my homework to find the perfect lawyer to represent me knowing I could have peace of mind throughout the process.
Leilani Whitmer and her paralegal Idania did not disappoint. Their professionalism and dedication to my case was outstanding and fair.
Leilani had just had surgery a few days before mediation and showed up on crutches and ready to go. That’s dedication!!!
I am highly recommending them to anyone looking to feel at ease during a difficult time.
Response from the owner:Lesia, glad Leilani and Dani took such good care of you.
Anne-Greyson helped me with my post divorce issues after Clay handled my divorce. She was amazing in getting my issues resolved and I was even more thankful to have worked with Brown Family Law again. I will never stop praising this team for all of their hard work!!
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