Parent-Time: Keep it Simple

Divorce is hard. Figuring out how to extricate your life from your spouse’s is hard. Figuring out what to do with the kids is hard. It’s all hard.

And when things are hard, people tend not to do them. Sure, we might stick with hard stuff for a while, but, eventually, we lose energy.

Diet

Think of the last diet you were on. It was probably pretty restrictive, and you did great for the first week. Then, you started to cheat a little, eating sweets and all those things your diet tells you not to eat. Eventually, because the diet is difficult, you abandoned it.

Now, imagine if you asked the question: what would a diet look like if it were easy? (On a personal note, I experiment with diets to see how they work. I’m currently on one, and it’s by far the easiest and healthiest one I’ve ever experimented with. Ask me about it if you want some info.)

An easy diet would be designed in part to help you lose weight now, but it would also be designed to help you stick with it and maintain weight and health throughout your life. In essence, it would look entirely different than the ones you’ve been on before.

Parent-Time

Now, let’s talk about parent-time the same way we talked about diets.

If you make parent-time difficult, you won’t do it as much. I’m sure there’s some pushback after that last sentence. You’re probably saying to yourself, “I’ll do whatever it takes to see my kids anytime, anywhere.”

I understand that sentiment, and if you are one of the 5% of people who actually follow through on that statement, you have nothing to worry about. You can have whatever parent-time arrangement under the sun and you’ll stick to it.

For the other 95% of parents who can’t sustain “I’ll do whatever it takes to see my kids anytime, anywhere,” over the long term, you have to make parent-time simple.

What does simple parent-time look like? It depends on your particular situation, but here are a few rules of thumb:

  1. If you’re doing 50/50 custody, you can’t live more than 20 miles from the other parent. (To read more about this, click here.)
  2. Fewer parent-time exchanges is better. There are a couple reasons for this. First, more parent-time exchanges increase the potential for conflict between parents. Second, kids tend to do better with fewer changes back and forth between homes. (For more on parent-time exchanges, read here.)
  3. Pick up and drop off your kids at school whenever possible. For whatever reason, it’s usually much easier to pick up and drop off kids at school as opposed to doing so at parents’ homes.
  4. Have a specific plan for who provides travel. Nothing creates more tension regarding parent-time than arguing about who has to drive where and when. We’ve found the following works well: the person picking up the child provides travel. This ensures people will be on time instead of being late to have more time with the kids.
  5. Have a plan about summer parent-time and holidays long before they happen. If you plan and communicate well with your ex about summer time and holidays like Christmas, it will seriously decrease friction and make vacations more enjoyable.

Remember: Make Parent-Time Easy

Think long and hard about what will work best before you agree to any set schedule. The easier you make parent-time, the more likely you are to exercise it. So, make it easy. You and your kids will be better for it.

Protect Your Money And Your Family

We remove fear associated with divorce, protect your money & maximize time with your kids!

We're here to help. Let's determine your best options.

Call Us 24//7 at 801-685-9999 to Speak with a Live Representative

Utah Divorce FAQs
Top 100 Divorce Blog
What Clients Are Saying…
BrownLaw icon
Excellent
Brown Family Law
4.8
Based on 912 reviews
Nathaniel Garrabrandt and Brown Family Law is where I send people who are seeking Divorce. Highly professional and compassionate. Thank you!
I cannot say enough good about my experience with Brown Family Law. Ray Hingson and paralegal Carren did an excellent job with my case. I will definitely use this firm again for any legal issues.
I have worked with Andrew Christensen many times in a variety of situations. I am very impressed with his friendly demeanor in a difficult situation. I would highly recommend him to you without any reservations.
Highly recommend Brown Family Law. Life is hard, divorce is harder, and Andrew Christensen is your guy to help you through to the other side.
When you’re going through a tough time and need legal help, this firm isn’t just a one-person operation. It’s a team of attorneys who work together to support you every step of the way. So you’re not just getting a lawyer, you’re getting a legal team behind you.

Navigating the legal system was a steep learning curve for me, and my situation was fairly complex. What stood out about this law firm was the way multiple attorneys collaborated to address my case. It wasn’t just one person working in isolation, but a team supporting each other to find the best path forward. That kind of collective effort is a real strength, especially in hard out complex situations like mine.

There was one issue I felt should have had a different outcome with the court. When I brought it up, the team responded in a very professional and respectful manner, which I truly appreciated. It came to my understanding that the legal system sometimes works in a way that is distant than I thought. This was presented to me in a way that someone outside of the legal system could understand.

In my experience, this firm takes the time to not only assist you, but also help you understand why things are happening. That made a big difference for me, and it’s something that really sets them apart.
Response from the owner:David, thank you for our conversation and taking the time to leave this review.
My experience with Jennifer and Brown Family Law was nothing short of amazing. From the very beginning of my initial consultation all the through until my case was settled, I was well taken care of and updated every step of the way. I felt like my team genuinely cared about the outcome of my case, which was refreshing. You get what you pay for, and Brown Family was worth every penny. To say I highly recommend this group is an understatement.
Response from the owner:Thank you very much, Steve. Glad Jennifer took good care of you.
Andrew Christensen was a great divorce lawyer. He is very experienced, professional, and was great to work with during this difficult process.
Response from the owner:Casey, thank you and so glad Andrew served you well.
Made my divorce quick and painless. 5 months ago I was feeling very overwhelmed. There was legal issues with protective orders, my ex wife had taken my kids to another country without my consent, I was in way over my head. After speaking with brown law they calmed my nerves took over my case. A few video calls and 5 months later my divorce is finalized with a fair outcome for everyone. It was easy and stress fee, it didn’t even feel like I was going through a divorce.
Response from the owner:Thank you so much, Brian. Sorry you went through all of that, but glad we were able to help.
Jennifer was excellent! She was always responsive and kept me updated on my case. while the billing was a little different from what I expected, her expertise was invaluable. I highly recommend her. And I appreciate everything she's done for me and may case.
Response from the owner:Jennifer, thank you and glad Jennifer was able to help you and kept you updated.
Going through the divorce process can be overwhelming, exhausting and emotionally draining.
I did my homework to find the perfect lawyer to represent me knowing I could have peace of mind throughout the process.
Leilani Whitmer and her paralegal Idania did not disappoint. Their professionalism and dedication to my case was outstanding and fair.
Leilani had just had surgery a few days before mediation and showed up on crutches and ready to go. That’s dedication!!!
I am highly recommending them to anyone looking to feel at ease during a difficult time.
Response from the owner:Lesia, glad Leilani and Dani took such good care of you.
yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7

Categories