Parent-Time: Keep it Simple

Divorce is hard. Figuring out how to extricate your life from your spouse’s is hard. Figuring out what to do with the kids is hard. It’s all hard.

And when things are hard, people tend not to do them. Sure, we might stick with hard stuff for a while, but, eventually, we lose energy.

Diet

Think of the last diet you were on. It was probably pretty restrictive, and you did great for the first week. Then, you started to cheat a little, eating sweets and all those things your diet tells you not to eat. Eventually, because the diet is difficult, you abandoned it.

Now, imagine if you asked the question: what would a diet look like if it were easy? (On a personal note, I experiment with diets to see how they work. I’m currently on one, and it’s by far the easiest and healthiest one I’ve ever experimented with. Ask me about it if you want some info.)

An easy diet would be designed in part to help you lose weight now, but it would also be designed to help you stick with it and maintain weight and health throughout your life. In essence, it would look entirely different than the ones you’ve been on before.

Parent-Time

Now, let’s talk about parent-time the same way we talked about diets.

If you make parent-time difficult, you won’t do it as much. I’m sure there’s some pushback after that last sentence. You’re probably saying to yourself, “I’ll do whatever it takes to see my kids anytime, anywhere.”

I understand that sentiment, and if you are one of the 5% of people who actually follow through on that statement, you have nothing to worry about. You can have whatever parent-time arrangement under the sun and you’ll stick to it.

For the other 95% of parents who can’t sustain “I’ll do whatever it takes to see my kids anytime, anywhere,” over the long term, you have to make parent-time simple.

What does simple parent-time look like? It depends on your particular situation, but here are a few rules of thumb:

  1. If you’re doing 50/50 custody, you can’t live more than 20 miles from the other parent. (To read more about this, click here.)
  2. Fewer parent-time exchanges is better. There are a couple reasons for this. First, more parent-time exchanges increase the potential for conflict between parents. Second, kids tend to do better with fewer changes back and forth between homes. (For more on parent-time exchanges, read here.)
  3. Pick up and drop off your kids at school whenever possible. For whatever reason, it’s usually much easier to pick up and drop off kids at school as opposed to doing so at parents’ homes.
  4. Have a specific plan for who provides travel. Nothing creates more tension regarding parent-time than arguing about who has to drive where and when. We’ve found the following works well: the person picking up the child provides travel. This ensures people will be on time instead of being late to have more time with the kids.
  5. Have a plan about summer parent-time and holidays long before they happen. If you plan and communicate well with your ex about summer time and holidays like Christmas, it will seriously decrease friction and make vacations more enjoyable.

Remember: Make Parent-Time Easy

Think long and hard about what will work best before you agree to any set schedule. The easier you make parent-time, the more likely you are to exercise it. So, make it easy. You and your kids will be better for it.

Protect Your Money And Your Family

We remove fear associated with divorce, protect your money & maximize time with your kids!

We're here to help. Let's determine your best options.

Call Us 24//7 at 801-685-9999 to Speak with a Live Representative

Utah Divorce FAQs
Top 100 Divorce Blog
What Clients Are Saying…
BrownLaw icon
Excellent
Brown Family Law
4.8
Based on 916 reviews
You get what you pay for, and the Brown Family team is worth every penny. We truly appreciated their team-based approach, making sure that every detail of our case was thoughtfully handled. They were incredibly easy to work with, kept us informed throughout the process, and made sure no question ever went unanswered. By far the best family attorneys I’ve worked with, and the only ones I’ll call if I ever need legal help again.
Response from the owner:Chris, thank you. Glad we were able to guide you through your process.
Andrew made the whole process smooth and quick! Kept me updated on any changes, and followed up with me constantly!

Made me feel at ease throughout the whole process and made sure I felt seen/ heard!
Response from the owner:Joselyn, thank you for the kind words.
David Handy is my attorney and he is excellent. He understands my cases and is well informed to defend my needs and the needs of my kids. He is supportive and compassionate. Telling me how things are and what to expect. He does very well with my high conflict cases (protective order and divorce). I highly recommend him and the Brown Family Law firm. Everyone I have talked to is helpful. Especially Conor Schetzel who is currently the paralegal on my cases.
Response from the owner:Suzanne, thank you and glad David has taken care of you.
Nathaniel Garrabrandt and Brown Family Law is where I send people who are seeking Divorce. Highly professional and compassionate. Thank you!
Response from the owner:Jaren, thank you for the referrals.
I cannot say enough good about my experience with Brown Family Law. Ray Hingson and paralegal Carren did an excellent job with my case. I will definitely use this firm again for any legal issues.
Response from the owner:Meghann, so glad Ray and Carren took good care of you.
I have worked with Andrew Christensen many times in a variety of situations. I am very impressed with his friendly demeanor in a difficult situation. I would highly recommend him to you without any reservations.
Response from the owner:Thank you, Monica.
Highly recommend Brown Family Law. Life is hard, divorce is harder, and Andrew Christensen is your guy to help you through to the other side.
Response from the owner:Mike, thank you for the kind words and the referrals.
When you’re going through a tough time and need legal help, this firm isn’t just a one-person operation. It’s a team of attorneys who work together to support you every step of the way. So you’re not just getting a lawyer, you’re getting a legal team behind you.

Navigating the legal system was a steep learning curve for me, and my situation was fairly complex. What stood out about this law firm was the way multiple attorneys collaborated to address my case. It wasn’t just one person working in isolation, but a team supporting each other to find the best path forward. That kind of collective effort is a real strength, especially in hard out complex situations like mine.

There was one issue I felt should have had a different outcome with the court. When I brought it up, the team responded in a very professional and respectful manner, which I truly appreciated. It came to my understanding that the legal system sometimes works in a way that is distant than I thought. This was presented to me in a way that someone outside of the legal system could understand.

In my experience, this firm takes the time to not only assist you, but also help you understand why things are happening. That made a big difference for me, and it’s something that really sets them apart.
Response from the owner:David, thank you for our conversation and taking the time to leave this review.
My experience with Jennifer and Brown Family Law was nothing short of amazing. From the very beginning of my initial consultation all the through until my case was settled, I was well taken care of and updated every step of the way. I felt like my team genuinely cared about the outcome of my case, which was refreshing. You get what you pay for, and Brown Family was worth every penny. To say I highly recommend this group is an understatement.
Response from the owner:Thank you very much, Steve. Glad Jennifer took good care of you.
Andrew Christensen was a great divorce lawyer. He is very experienced, professional, and was great to work with during this difficult process.
Response from the owner:Casey, thank you and so glad Andrew served you well.
yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7

Categories