What do divorce clients want? (Hint: It’s not necessarily what you think)

Attorneys are consumed with doing a good job and winning. (Attorneys may say they aren’t competitive, but they really are. It’s what keeps them motivated.)

Normally, however, they don’t really worry about the style in which they win. If they win by not saying a word to the judge, they’re happy because they won. If they say too much in court, they’re happy because they won. If they show up twenty minutes late and win, they’re happy because they won.

Clients on the other hand, want and expect certain things of their attorneys. Those things might have nothing to do with winning, but they want them anyway.

Here are a few things I’ve noticed clients want their divorce attorneys to do, especially in court:

  1. Arrive on time.
  2. Talk a lot.
  3. (Related to #2) Counter every wrong thing the other guy says.
  4. (Related to #2) Restate everything written in the pleadings.

Now, none of these four things really has much to do with winning. In fact, numbers two through four are often inversely correlated to winning. (Related aside: I can predict how well I do in front of one particular commissioner by how much I have to talk. If I don’t talk much, I win. If I have to explain things in detail, I often lose.)

But none of this matters to many clients. Items one through four are what they expect because these are what they see on TV.

Law & Order Syndrome

I call these expectations the Law & Order Syndrome.

Jack McCoy never showed up late to a hearing. (His motorcycle probably had something to do with that.) He was never at a loss for words. On the contrary, he always had more than enough to say in every situation. And, since it’s television, Jack had to say everything because showing a judge reading a legal memorandum that took five hours to prepare isn’t good for sweeps week.

This syndrome causes real, and sometimes serious, problems.

I’ve seen clients win 90% of everything they wanted, and, instead of focusing on their victories, they complain that their attorneys were five minutes late to the hearing. I’ve seen a client win every issue, but be upset because the attorney didn’t speak as much as the client thought the attorney should have. (I mean, the attorney won every issue, and the client was upset because the attorney’s style didn’t match what their TV-driven expectation. Think about that.)

So, there’s somewhat of a fundamental disconnect between what clients expect and what attorneys strive to deliver and how they deliver it.

How to deal with Law & Order Syndrome

How should attorneys handle this? As I see it, there are two primary ways:

  1. Ignore the issue.
  2. Explain your style upfront and how it may differ from what the client expects.

The first option will lead you to the problems mentioned above. If you ignore the issue, no matter how good you are, and no matter how much you win, your clients will always be disappointed because how you win does not meet expectations. It makes no sense, but it’s what happens. Expectations are more important than reality in many cases.

The second option lets you get out in front of the issue. When you tell people how you lawyer and how that might be different from their expectations, you change their thinking. Now, when they see you practice law consistent with what you said, they focus on your successes and not your style.

Under this scenario, you’re simply a genius, instead of the guy who didn’t act like Jack McCoy.

In the end, know your style and convey it to your clients upfront. It sure beats winning, only to get castigated for winning wrong.

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Nathaniel Garrabrandt and Brown Family Law is where I send people who are seeking Divorce. Highly professional and compassionate. Thank you!
I cannot say enough good about my experience with Brown Family Law. Ray Hingson and paralegal Carren did an excellent job with my case. I will definitely use this firm again for any legal issues.
I have worked with Andrew Christensen many times in a variety of situations. I am very impressed with his friendly demeanor in a difficult situation. I would highly recommend him to you without any reservations.
Highly recommend Brown Family Law. Life is hard, divorce is harder, and Andrew Christensen is your guy to help you through to the other side.
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Navigating the legal system was a steep learning curve for me, and my situation was fairly complex. What stood out about this law firm was the way multiple attorneys collaborated to address my case. It wasn’t just one person working in isolation, but a team supporting each other to find the best path forward. That kind of collective effort is a real strength, especially in hard out complex situations like mine.

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In my experience, this firm takes the time to not only assist you, but also help you understand why things are happening. That made a big difference for me, and it’s something that really sets them apart.
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My experience with Jennifer and Brown Family Law was nothing short of amazing. From the very beginning of my initial consultation all the through until my case was settled, I was well taken care of and updated every step of the way. I felt like my team genuinely cared about the outcome of my case, which was refreshing. You get what you pay for, and Brown Family was worth every penny. To say I highly recommend this group is an understatement.
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Andrew Christensen was a great divorce lawyer. He is very experienced, professional, and was great to work with during this difficult process.
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Made my divorce quick and painless. 5 months ago I was feeling very overwhelmed. There was legal issues with protective orders, my ex wife had taken my kids to another country without my consent, I was in way over my head. After speaking with brown law they calmed my nerves took over my case. A few video calls and 5 months later my divorce is finalized with a fair outcome for everyone. It was easy and stress fee, it didn’t even feel like I was going through a divorce.
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