What Can You Not Do During a Divorce?

What Can You Not Do During a Divorce?

Here is a list of a few important things that you cannot do, or rather you should not do, during your divorce proceedings:

  1. Dismiss an amicable resolution
  2. Neglect your children or expose them to the divorce proceedings
  3. Refuse a therapist’s help
  4. Act in haste or anger
  5. Hide assets
  6. Agree to settle early (without negotiating much)

Don’t Dismiss an Amicable Resolution

Mediation and collaborative divorce processes can help dissolve a marriage in an affordable, informal, quick, confidential, and friendly manner. What’s more, these are legally sound ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution) processes that help resolve about 98% of divorces in America without going to trial.

That said, divorce or separation may involve arguments, fights, stress, and bruised egos. Things can reach a point when some spouses may be itching for a fight in the courts because both feel that the other spouse is in the wrong.

As it is divorce is tragic, its aftermath is adversarial, and if a court battle follows, it can add fuel to the fire. A court battle destroys precious time and money, and it plays on the emotions of the spouses and their children. Therefore, no matter how nasty the situation may be, spouses should consider getting out of it amicably and affordably.

Don’t Neglect your Children or Expose Them to the Divorce Proceedings

Minor children need to be shielded from the impact of divorce or separation and you should focus on creating a supportive environment for them. First, you should not discuss the divorce with them or badmouth the other spouse. Focus on their needs, schooling, extracurricular activities, homework, etc. – in general, keep things going as usual for them. Second, keep them in a relaxed state of mind and if they ask what’s going on, just inform them something along the lines of, “Mom and dad are working things out for the good of the family.”

When minor children are exposed to the ugliness and tragedy of divorce, the fallout can trouble them and influence their behavior and character even after they become adults. So, don’t neglect to be around your children just because you are getting hassled by the divorce proceedings – and keep them insulated, as far as possible, from the divorce. If you use your children as weapons in the divorce, your child custody case may weaken and your relationship with your children too may become fragile.

Don’t Refuse a Therapist’s Help

A therapist can help you cope with the divorce’s aftermath by making you consider the practical and healthier outlook of your divorce. These professionals can help you transition smoothly from marriage to being single and guide you through the rough patch you are experiencing.

Divorce can impact your health, destabilize your emotions, and squeeze your finances. Therapy can help you stave off the ill effects of divorce on your physical and mental health – and develop coping skills for what’s coming next. You will learn how to behave in court, how to handle kids, how to control your anger, fight depression, and more – therefore if you are feeling down and out, do not refuse to seek a therapist’s help.

Don’t Act in Haste or Anger

Many separated spouses are likely to become impulsive and vent their anger on the other spouse because they want him/her to pay for the events that led to the divorce. Sure, they may be experiencing tough times and wondering how the future will pan out – still, it is advisable not to act in haste or anger.

Anger and haste can spur you to make rash, emotional, or irrational decisions that have the potential to weaken your case. We urge you to work with an experienced family law attorney who believes in an amicable resolution of divorce cases. Such attorneys can help you stay grounded and calm throughout the proceedings.

Remember that the divorce is past tense and you now have to focus on what is to be done next – and anger and haste may adversely impact the future you have planned. Doing the right thing now instead of the rash thing can help you build a better future. So, keep your anger, impulsiveness, and emotions in check during the divorce proceedings.

Don’t Hide Assets

If you hide, undervalue, or understate marital assets, exaggerate debts, and lie about your assets and liabilities under oath, then that means you have committed perjury. If your lie is discovered, and it likely will be, the courts may make you pay the other spouse’s attorney fees, levy penalties, dismiss your claims, award the other spouse a larger share of the marital pie, and even award you jail time (in some extreme cases).

The big picture is that when you lie about your assets, you lose credibility with the courts. The courts may then assume you are lying about other things as well. We urge all spouses to be honest, transparent, and fair, and disclose all marital and separate assets to the court.

Don’t Settle Early

Many divorcing spouses want an exit at the earliest possible moment. They may negotiate in haste and end up compromising their future. We urge all divorcing spouses to make a list of their assets and liabilities, including all kinds of properties, common marital assets as well as separate marital properties , health insurance policies, details of income earned by both the spouses, retirement funds, tax forms, brokerage statements, credit card statements, and more, as applicable. It makes the spouses aware of what they own and what they owe, and that can be used as a starting point as spouses plan their future.

If you act in haste and settle early, you may not get the time to draw up a list of properties and discuss their division with your family law attorney. It could jeopardize your finances in the future. So, be cool and calm, and don’t be in a rush to settle.

Other miscellaneous “don’ts” include:

  • Don’t forget to change the names of the owners/beneficiaries in your property and legal documents.
  • Don’t forget to ask your CPA about the implications of your divorce on taxation.
  • Don’t be rigid when it comes to meeting your ex-spouse halfway when he/she proposes a reasonable deal (your attorney can guide you on this one).
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About the Author: Keith Bruss
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I truly had a great experience working with Daniel and Carren. Divorce and lawyers are never where you want to end up, but they really made the whole process bearable. They always communicated with me, responded to messages, and were clear about what they were doing.Loved them but also hope I never have to see them again, you know?
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Ray and this firm did an outstanding job. He represented me and my children, he was supportive and on top of everything. He was so prepared and I always knew what was happening. This law firm and Ray and his team was absolutely an answer to prayer. We are so thankful for them!
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I cannot thank Brown Family Law enough for their exceptional support during one of the most challenging times in my life. Daniel Brown was my attorney, and his professionalism, compassion, and expertise made the entire divorce process so much easier to navigate.Daniel took the time to explain every step of the process, answering my questions with patience and clarity. He was always responsive and made me feel like a priority, which gave me the confidence I needed to move forward. His attention to detail and ability to handle the complexities of my case were truly impressive.Thanks to Daniel and the team at Brown Family Law, I was able to achieve a resolution that I felt was fair and in my best interest. If you're looking for a family law attorney who is knowledgeable, supportive, and genuinely cares about your well-being, I highly recommend Daniel Brown and Brown Family Law. Thank you for everything!
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Brown Family Law really cares about their clients! Ray goes above and beyond to make sure you know what is going on and understand each step of the process. He'll answer each question honestly so you have a realistic expectation of the outcome. I hope to never need his services again, but if I do, he is the only one I'll work with. Thanks Ray!
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Brown Family Law is an excellent choice for those in need of Family Law services. I was so overwhelmed when searching but they made the process very understandable and somewhat comforting. Ray and Carren were amazing! The communication couldn’t have been better. Thank you Ray, Carren and Brown Family Law for helping me through one of the most stressful events I’ll ever endure. I couldn’t have done it without you!
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Thank you very much for the personal attention, preparation, caring, counseling, and understanding. Divorce is difficult, especially with family, yet you held our hand through the entire process and helped us. Thank you.
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I called a number of attorneys in order to get a divorce. Most would call once and then not return phone calls. It was entirely frustrating. When I called Nathaniel at Brown Family Law, everything was easy. He and Carren were friendly and personable and, most importantly, quick and efficient. It took a total of eight weeks and two days and blammo! I was divorced.
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Nathaniel was a great and answered all my questions and I am confident we’re heading in the right direction.
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I can't say enough good about this group. At the end of the day, Ray Hingson went out of his way to make everything run smooth. Even though the other firm encouraged and allowed them to use character assassination as a tactic, Ray stayed above the fray and made sure things were fair for both parties. If you want integrity and fairness for everyone involved these are your guys.
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I would absolutely recommend Brown Family Law. In my situation, I paid the consulting fee and met with an attorney. In this meeting, the attorney was very kind and honest. After going through the details of my concerns, he informed me that it was highly likely that taking my concerns to court would cost more than what I'd see back. He also offered to refund the original consulting fee. I felt heard and trusted the advice he provided and decided to not move forward. I felt so much better after just talking with him even though the outcome wasn't what I wanted. At least I know now and am not constantly wondering. Thank you Brown Family Law for giving me peace of mind and for being so trustworthy.
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Highly recommend working with this group. Professional and communicative.
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So grateful for Nathaniel and his paralegal Carren for helping me get thru my divorce, they were so professional, and kept in contact to update me twice weekly. I would highly recommend them.
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Anne-Grayson was wonderful to work with very understanding
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Would like to shoutout Andrew Christensen for a smooth and easy process throughout the divorcé process. Andrew was always quick to respond and definitely has your best interests In mind. I would highly recommend you let Andrew represent you for anything in regards to family law! Thank you for everything Andrew! You’re the best!!
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Daniel Young and Carren Levitt from Brown Family law have been very kind to me during my court process. It’s been a lengthy process and during this process, one of my grandchildren needed surgery. They were very thoughtful and kind and sent flowers to her. I have a cognitive delay, They have been very kind and compassionate and patient with me. The whole staff is truly been kind.
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Brown Family Law was a very effective, communicative and hard-working representation in my recent case.They were transparent and responsive to my questions and concerns.Kim, Marco and their team were the best group of attorneys to have in my corner.Hopefully I'll never need a Family Law Attorney again, but if I do, I'll be calling Brown Family Law.
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At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.